The last time I visited the cave, my cursory glance inside resulted in about five arrows finding a new home in the side of my head. I didn't attempt to kill the skellywags firing them with such enthusiasm, since I had neither a weapon nor armour at the time.
But now I'm armed to the hilt, which takes my confidence to soaring highs! Unfortunately, the incredible darkness and scary monster noises take my confidence to crushing lows. So I guess on balance my confidence is about neutral.
With my sword raised high in the air, I rush into the cave and weakly yell a neutral-sounding war cry. Thankfully I don't encounter any skellingtons this time around - which is good, because I hate the anorexic bastards - but I do come across four zombies. I make short work of them by utilizing a combat technique known by professional Minecrafters as 'flailing around wildly until stuff dies'.
I can't tell how far it goes down. Normally this wouldn't give rise to any hesitation at all, and I'd scrabble straight down without too much consideration. But with so much at stake, I'm not ashamed to say that I'm a little trepidatious and genuinely wondering whether to proceed.
Needing some expert advice, I pause the game and call the one person who would know what to do in this situation.
I call my dad, who, in real life, used to be an actual miner. Fancy that!
"Hey Dad, need some advice on something."
"Do you want me to get your mother?"
"No," I sigh. "I need your mining expertise."
There is silence on the line, which I usually take to mean 'please continue'.
"How do you like... adventure?" I open, dramatically.
There is more silence on the line, but it's more contemplative in its nature so I hold the line for a response.
"Are you sure you don't want me to get your mother?"
"Thanks Dad."
I have a brief consultation with Mum who advises me to just go for it, reminding me that recklessly leaping down claustrophobic holes in the ground seemed to work for Alice in her search for adventure, so it should be good enough for me. She also tells me she's impressed by the amount of iron I've gathered so far and makes concerned noises when I tell her about Arch-Nemesis Kenneth. Even though I'm aware that she hasn't a clue what Minecraft is, let alone comprehend the ferocity of creepers, I take her enthusiastic platitudes to heart and it gives me genuine courage to plough on. She does this when I tell her about work sometimes.
Anyway, back to the game. I mean, er, back to this thrilling tale of adventure!
I mean, Endermen! A few more appear until an entire Enderbus (the correct word for a family of Endermen) comes into view. They convoy from right to left and disappear below the surface. I wonder where the heck that leads to?
Following an Enderbus into a small hole may sound reckless, and that’s because it is. The reason for my sudden lack of self-preservation is because I never associate Endermen with any danger – I tend to play on multiplayer server, and for reasons unknown they aren’t hostile in multiplayer games.
In this single player game, however, it’s a different kettle of fish.
Endermen attack only if you look at them directly (with the white crosshair passing over them) and I nearly do just that – in game, it’s nowhere near as light as the doctored screenshots and I don’t notice them to start with. When I finally do see two shiny eyes, I think 'Oooh, an Enderman!' and move to look straight at it, only just realizing my ludicrous mistake and diverting the crosshair at the final moment. The second one of the group throws me a disinterested look, and the four of them march out of sight down the hole.
