ZEKE IDDON IS DEAD.
LONG LIVE ZEKE IDDON.

Zeke Iddon’s Ted Talk is being broadcast on a five-second studio delay. Zeke Iddon loves to cuddle, but at all the wrong times. Apply the coupon code ZEKEIDDON at checkout! You do not qualify for this coupon code for spurious reasons that make you go through the checkout again. Zeke Iddon will accept returns only on the manager’s approval and  with a valid receipt. Zeke Iddon is the manager.

Zeke Iddon refuses to use two-factor authentication to log in for security reasons. Zeke is pioneering ten-factor authentication. Zeke Iddon has hit a fatal error and is forced to close this application. He would very much like to report the error to Microsoft — in fact, Bill Gates can expect Zeke Iddon’s five-page report on his desk at 9 o’clock, sharp.

Zeke Iddon was on a Paris train. He emerged in London rain. Zeke Iddon has forgotten his password.

Zeke Iddon is aggressively sending notifications to Duo Lingo's owl with reminders that it should keep up with "crommon Zenglish" lessons, but neither party knows what that means. Zeke has experienced a shipping error again, and he’s passing the savings onto you!

Zeke Iddon knows good wine. It is a legal obligation to point out, as a result of recent litigation, that he uses the word ‘know’ in the Biblical sense. Zeke Iddon will not judge a book by its cover, only on its narrative structure and pace of plot.

Zeke Iddon is listening to Russia’s national anthem — not because he likes it, but because it’s about him. Zeke Iddon cannot go one evening without talking about The Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise. Zeke Iddon has licked an ass, but not the way you’re thinking. Zeke judges the cut of your jib.

Terrorists never stop thinking of ways to harm our countries and our people, and neither does Zeke Iddon. When it is time to rock the funky joint Zeke Iddon is on point. When it is time to rock the funky town, Zeke Iddon is down. When it is time to rock the funky jam, Zeke Iddon appreciates a bit of advanced notice.

Zeke Iddon wonders if you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. Zeke Iddon once petitioned Duo Lingo to include modules concerning "the weird hieroglyphics they put on clothing labels to tell you how it works with the laundry machine thing", but Duo Lingo refused due to the ongoing "crommon Zenglish" notifications war. An impasse, as always, has been met with Zeke Iddon.

There is a house in New Orleans they call Zeke Iddon. It’s been the ruin of many a poor boy and Lord, I know, I’m one. Zeke Iddon’s mother was a tailor, she sewed those new blue jeans. Zeke Iddon is playing an organ solo. Oh mother, tell your children, not to do what Zeke Iddon has done.

There are few things in this world more comforting than a handshake from Zeke Iddon and one of them is a cuddle from Zeke Iddon. Zeke Iddon came joint first with asbestos on the ‘List of Things Not to Breath In’ as voted by Daily Mail readers. Zeke Iddon has never once, on the topic of Kanye West, defensively uttered anything close to or resembling "all things aside, he did made Graduation..."

Zeke Iddon owes £200 to the Community Chest. Zeke Iddon is evading the super tax. Zeke Iddon is debating the house rules regarding the Free Parking square, even when they work in his favour. Zeke Iddon just opened a hotel on Mayfair, and guess where you’re about to land?

 Zeke Iddon is conquering Asia with a single army in Risk, rolling perfect sixes all across Asia starting with Irkutsk. Zeke Iddon can pronounce Irkutsk perfectly.

Zeke hopes you love bargains!

The nail that sticks up will be hammered down by Zeke Iddon.