#13 - In Which We Meet the Lovely Sephiroth

You said it, Teefs. Today we're heading out of Midgar following our daring escape from Shinra HQ, during which we pissed off an awful lot of people and learned that Sephiroth was getting all up in people's bases and killing everyone's dudes. Previously assumed to be dead, it seems that even death can't slow the fearsome man in black down as he slaughters anyone that gets in his way... ... So, naturally, we're going to try and get in his way. Makes sense? Truth is, we don't know what the cheeky bugger is up to or why he's in such a bad mood, but Cloud Strife claims that he knows the answers and will divulge them to the group once we get to the next stop-off point. Cloud claims to have the power to piss off Sephiroth even more, and he won't necessarily use this power sensibly or responsibly. I give the guys a pep talk before we head out. Being an uncultured dolt, Aeris informs us she's never left Midgar before. Barrett suggests we split into two groups, because it's "too dangerous to have five people roaming the fields around Midgar". Safety in divided numbers, and all that. I take Aeris, just to give her a bit of a worldly education, and EmilyKing (to protect Aeris when she gets attacked by a low-level monster). Since it's been a bit stressful as of late, we head off to the most tranquil place we know - after all, if we enter a village called 'Kalm' and there are nailbombs exploding all over the place, I think I'll have good rights to take up my case with the False Advertising Bureau. Out into the world map, my heart swells as the melancholic FF7 World Map theme flares up. Other than a scuffle with a pack of panthers (which happens to everyone on their commute to work, right?) we make it to Kalm without incident. Lovely, lovely Kalm.

Yes, we've just established that.

Aeris is eager to meet with the others and demands that we go to the inn immediately. Relax, mate! We're in Kalm! And when in Kalm, do as the... er... Kalmons do? And I do just that by having a mosey around and getting into leisurely chats with the locals. The proximity of Midgar and Shinra's Mako energy program seems to polarize the population - half of them love the convenience brought by abundant and on-tap energy, while the other half worry about whether or not their idyllic way of life will be destroyed by Exxon Mobil. I mean, Shinra. It also seems that most of Kalm's residents have bought into the propoganda that it was us responsible for the death of JFK. Huh? Sorry, I mean President Shinra. I need to stop making everything a political reference today. Cloud has got nearly 5,000 Gil burning a whole in his purple pocket, and by the time I've hit the shops and sold some of the unnecessary but valuable items I got from the last few bosses, I'm up to over 7,000 Gil. I use the cash to deck the team out with some sexy new mythril armlets, weapon upgrades and a couple of new materia. With retail therapy over and everyone chatted to, I hit the inn for a refreshing nap and maybe a light snooze. Two seconds later, and Barret is screaming at me for being late and demanding to know what the hell is going on. Kalm, guys! We're in Kaaaaalm. But it's fair for Barrett to ask. Cloud has been holding out on him. He takes a measured breath, and tells the story that began five years prior while on an assigned mission for SOLDIER. And it is in this flashback that we first meet the legendary Sephiroth...

Not really the most dramatic of opening statements, it has to be said.

In the flashback, Cloud, Sephiroth and a couple of non-SOLDIER class back-up troops head to the beleaguered Nibelheim, which is kind of like the equivalent of southern Germany except that Nibelheim is quickly becoming associated with tyrannical monsters.

We've been sent by Shinra Inc. to investigate. It doesn't take us long to find one as our transport truck drives straight into a bloody massive dragon (the guy behind the wheel drives about as well as me). Cloud narrates our encounter with the dragon, explaining that Sephiroth's ferocity in battle is ungodly, as is his ability to wield a sword bigger than Kanye West's ego. To prove the point, Sephiroth steps off the van, casually walks over to the gigantic beast and slices it in twain with his twenty-seven foot long blade.

By the time we check in at the Nibelheim Inn, I'm fairly convinced that Sephiroth is a pretty easygoing and normal guy. Sure, he's a bit quiet and only talks about work, but he does seem to ask questions about Cloud's personal life and connects with him on a human level. He even asks Cloud what it feels like to be in his home town once again, and only acts mildy batshit crazy when Cloud asks him where he grew up. Nowhere, apparently - he tells us his mother died when he was born, and just laughs when mentioning his father. He does mention that his mother's name is Jenova, which I'm very sure won't be a significant detail in the future! Oh, scratch that. It already was a massively significant detail ages ago. Let's get to some proper foreshadowing instead:

Well, when you put it like that!

Awwww, I fell for it again.