Welcome back to Cloud's Nibelheim flashback! Pull up a seat as he disjointedly narrates what went down between him and Sephiroth in a non-linear, confusing and incredibly-difficult-to-write-about-manner.
If you've been following so far, we left off last time with Sephiroth setting fire to the entire town of Nibelheim and killing everyone, which is a bit cheeky of him given our orders were to 'protect Nibelheim' with an unwritten side-order of 'don't kill everyone'. Despite the fact that this very long sequence is the most central plot point of the entire game (and I usually spend days writing up just two minutes of gameplay), I'm going to uncharacteristically sum the entire flashback thusly:
Sephiroth is as mad as a box of frogs.
He finds out that his 'mother' is Jenova, goes nuts, stabs Tifa, kills her dad and burns down Nibelheim. He mistakenly believes that his bloodline with Jenova makes him one of the last remaining Cetra, like Aeris. He takes it one step further and claims ownership to the entire planet...
... And here was me thinking Aeris was the arrogant jerk!
Either way, Cloud confronts Sephiroth and apparently kills him... however, the details are very sketchy. They definitely squared up against each other (and perhaps even Square Enix-ed up against each other) but Cloud doesn't remember exactly how the fight went down. Sephiroth was officially reported dead and Cloud obviously lived to tell the tale, but even Cloud admits he should have gotten his ass handed to him.
What's more, Sephiroth is clearly alive after his five year hiatus, so who knows what the hell happened?
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CUT ME OFF!
NOW YOU'RE JUST SOMEBODY THAT I... sorry, enough of that.
So during the whole flashback, all we really establish with any certainty is that Sephiroth is one lightbulb short of a full lunchbox. Cloud stands there proud as punch with his story - "Whaddya think about all that?" he asserts. Everyone silently walks out of the Kalm inn, pissed off that he's raised more questions than answers.
A villager conveniently tells us that he's seen a guy in a black cape and a 'killer looking sword' walk across the fields to the East. I can only think of one person that matches that description - well, two if you count Zorro - so we pack up our shit and make haste across the world map, slaughtering ostriches and animated clumps of grass along the way.
Clumps of grass! RUN AWAY!
Eventually we reach the rip-off factory that is the Chocobo Farm.
You need to acquire a Chocobo in order to race across the marshes, unless you're a fan of getting annhilated by 30ft swamp serpents. Now, I know times are hard, but I'm slightly irked to learn that the Chocobo Farm has a deficit of chocobos and not only do I have to catch my own but I have to pay 2,000 Gil for a 'chocobo lure' materia. And another 1,000 gil for some 'greens' to feed them, otherwise when I do attract one it might get scared and run off.
What I suspect to be tourist con has literally used up all my hard-earned cash. I hope I catch a Chocobo first time round, otherwise I'm boned.
You said it, stablehand-who-can't-spell-her-own-name-properly.
After half an hour of running around and getting into fights, it dawns on me that I haven't equipped the chocobo lure materia which I just forked out for. Once I do, they're a bit more forthcoming and I luckily manage to catch one at the first opportunity. I ride away on my goofy-looking steed, having earned two brand new materia - the Choco-Mog summon, which is our first mighty summon materia we've come across, and the aforementioned lure which I never plan to use again.
No, I'm not going to try and breed a golden chocobo later in the game. Life's too short, and my pockets too empty.
On the safe side of the marshes and past the fearsome Midgar Zolom, we get our first confirmation that we're hot on Sephiroth's heels:
If we'd tried to fight this serpent at this stage of the game rather than racing past it on a chocobo, it would have knocked us into next week.
Sephiroth, on the other hand, seems to have had it with these motherfuckin' snakes on these motherfuckin' plains.
Tifa just utters the word 'amazing' and gasps in awe, while Barret uses his sleuthing skills to deduct that 'this Sephiroth guy's pretty strong, I'd say'. Once again, I find myself baffled as to why we're so keen to catch up with him. Regardless, we march onwards into the canyon, letting our chocobo loose to undoubtedly ride back to the farm where Chocobo Billy can sell him to the next schmuck for fifty-bazillion Gil.
The monsters in the cave are a fair bit harder than on the world map, but we do learn a few enemy attacks which might come in handy. Eventually, we come across... the Turks! Remember these swanky dudes? They're the ones I'd totally join forces with if it wasn't for the fact that I'm devoted to getting into Tifa's hotpants.
Joined by their newest member, Elena, we have a fairly casual conversation in which they inform us that they're also after Sephiroth, but that they plan to stop us every step of the way.
This is slightly annoying. Given that we've got a common goal, can't we just work together?
If only they'd be willing to trade some info with us - or even just drop one hint which would advance the plot a bit - we could all go about our business a bit easier?
Sadly, the Turks are holding their cards very close to their chests.
Looks like we'll never figure out where that guy is going.
