Huzzah - two people in the game! A hole in me has been filled, and the man to fill it is Sp1z!
By 'hole' I mean the loneliness I was experiencing, not my... yeah, I guess that does read a bit weird.
"Where are you?" he asks.
"Some dude's base. I think it's Keith's."
"I'm in the NPC village right now, I'll meet you outside his main entrance."
I run out of the base and into the meadow in order to give him a hug when he arrives. It's a few minute's walk from the NPC village so I leave my desk to grab a cup of freshly brewed java. When I come back, he's still not here.
"Where are you????" I holler, not exactly hiding my excitement.
"Outside Keith's base," he replies.
"Erm... no you're not."
"Yes I am. Where are you?"
"Outside Keith' base," I retort.
"No you're not..."
And this goes on for about four minutes before I learn that this isn't Keith's base at all (his is a thousand miles off to the West). Swear words are traded - I have male genitalia affixed to my head, apparently - and it takes Sp1z forever to make his way over to the base at which I'm actually standing in.
While we stand around looking really cool in our iron suits, we have a catch-up, discuss plans, trade hair care tips and talk about setting an objective. What shall we do with my one-and-only life? What's next?
There is only one thing for it. We're not just going to embark on any quest... we're going to embark on The Quest.
For those of you who aren't too familiar with the game, you may get the impression from this blog that all you do in Minecraft is bumble around without any discernable objective other than what you impose upon yourself. That's where you're wrong.
Nah, you're absolutely right. But as of the last major update to the game, there is a main mission which you can undertake if you choose to do so. It consists of making your way into a brand-new dimension - The End - and duelling with a ferocious Ender Dragon. But getting there is probably the most challenging aspect, and in effect my aspirations for this Iron Man Mode session has gone from 'find diamonds' and 'stop falling off cliffs' to:
1) Killing enough Endermen to harvest at least twelve ender pearls.2) Travel to the Nether, which is sketchy in itself, and survive long enough to find a Stronghold. The Strongholds are generally difficult to locate and can even generate within the rock, rendering them nigh-on impossible to find.3) Enter the Stronghold and get a load of blaze rods. These are attained by killing Blazes, which are outrageously tough, come in overwhelming numbers and as their name suggests, can command the power of fireballs.4) Set up an alchemy station to combine the blaze rods and ender pearls. These give you ender eyes.
5) Once you've done all that, you need to find a Stronghold in the normal world. There are only four in the world, and to all intents and purposes, can be just about anywhere on the infinitely spawning map.
6) In the sprawling Stronghold, find the portal room. The portal room here will contain a silverfish spawner, which are a nightmare to defeat. Insert the ender eyes into the portal.
And finally:
7) Travel to the End, which is populated with hundreds of Endermen, and kill the dragon which has a massive health bar, can recharge said health bar, and can fly through rock.
No, I don't expect this blog to last much longer either. Remember that time I nearly got killed by a single spider?
We decide to tackle the Nether first and foremost, but just as we settle on that plan of action I spot an Enderman. They're usually jet black but due to the custom texture pack I have, their white form stands out against the darkness. Before we head to the Nether to get blaze rods, this may be a good opportunity to get one of the twelve ender pearls we're going to need.
Back in the single-player world, I would never have taken on an Enderman. They're high on health, punch hard, and tend to teleport right behind you in the middle of a fight. But with Sp1z by my side, I feel I can take on the world.
I run on over there being careful not to look directly at the Enderman, which would provoke him into attack mode. Half-way up the hill and only a few feet away from him, I look back to see Sp1z isn't by my side. In fact, he's not moved anywhere and is staring at the sky. The support is appreciated.
I don't bother waiting and hack at the tall creature's knees, inflicting damage but avoiding its gaze at the same time. No sooner than I get a couple of hits in does it vanish in a puff of purple vapour, having teleported to somewhere within the near vicinity. Sp1z sidles over, reporting that he can here it moving in the forest next to us. We move in but only find a couple of skeletons which we quickly despatch, then all of a sudden I see Sp1z disappear into a hole in the ground. I'm worried that he's accidentally fallen into a cave entrance and currently plummeting to his death, but then I realize that I don't actually give a shit. I'm the one playing on Iron Man Mode, not him.
Can we value one person's life over another? Turns out yes, we bloody well can.
But it's a moot point anyway, because the next message I get in the text box isn't that Sp1z has hit the ground to hard, but him saying "It's down here."
I leap down myself and see Sp1z swinging his sword around in the dark like a maniac, and the Enderman is not down here. So why on Earth did Sp... WHOMP.
I get the uncanny feeling that it has teleported behind me, a feeling which can be explained by the fact that it has indeed teleported right behind me. I turn around to confirm all of this and in the process I get not only visual confirmation, but also a punch to the face. Sp1z retaliates on my behalf and employs the curious tactic of briefly stabbing me before hacking up the Enderman. Between the two of us, we eventually take it down... is it going to drop a pearl? Is it going to drop the first of our twelve-a-day? Are we going to be rewarded for our ruckus with ah yeah it dropped an ender pearl. Good.
Sp1z takes it for safe keeping, informing me that he already has two others from his earlier adventures. After the whole debacle it's daylight again, so we waste no time in heading over to Keith's base. Or what I think is Keith's base. Man, I have no idea who's living where.
Sp1z leads me through the forest, getting lost twice and turning in at least one circle, before we finally come across a semi-constructed outpost. I can see the Nether Portal at the top of a short flight of stairs - a sense of coldness washes around my stomach as I realise that once I step through there and into the hell beyond, I'm probably not going to make it back alive.
I steel myself and move towards the foot of the stairs.
It looms over me - six short steps to what will inevitably be my place of death.
Sp1z is waiting at the top. I take those six steps and join him at the foot of the portal.
It only takes a second to prepare myself mentally. If this is how I'm going to die and the blog is going to end, let's make this one hell of a beautiful death.
1...
2...
3...
"LET'S DO THIS," I type.
"Hang on, I want to drop off some stuff," Sp1z replies and walks back down the steps and towards the temporary accommodation.
Huh. Maybe I'll do the same.
------Fifteen minutes later------
I take the six short steps. They seem less dramatic this time.
We've got some fresh armour on and plenty of food to hopefully make it through the Nether until we find a Stronghold - if we make it that far, we'll set up a temporary shelter and create further plans at that stage.
"Ready?" Sp1z asks.
"Yeah. It's a shame... I'll miss writing the blog."
We share LOLs and step into the portal.
The screen goes all wibbly-wobbly. What part of the hellish dimension would we end up in? What manner of fire-laden danger awaits us?
The loading screen appears. I'm about to enter a world of lava-filled hurt.
WHAT.
